What to do when a parent dies: a practical order
The first week, the first month, and the things that genuinely can wait.
The short answer
In the first days: obtain the death certificate and order about ten certified copies, locate the will, and secure property and insurance. In the first weeks: notify institutions and government agencies, and begin probate if required. Distributing anything should wait until debts are known.
If you are reading this today, the most useful thing we can tell you first is that very little is urgent. Almost everything that feels urgent can wait a week without any harm.
The first few days
A medical professional certifies the death and a funeral director usually handles registration with you. Order about ten certified copies of the death certificate: every institution wants an original and getting more later is slower.
Find the will. Look in a home safe, a filing cabinet, a safe deposit box, with the attorney who drafted it, or in an online vault they used. Ask siblings before assuming it does not exist.
Secure things rather than settling them
Lock the property, tell the insurer if a home will be unoccupied, redirect post, and keep premiums and mortgage payments current. An unoccupied home with lapsed cover is how an estate loses real money in the first month.
Photograph anything valuable and let nothing leave the house yet, however well meant the offer.
Who to notify
Employer, banks, mortgage lender, insurers, pension and retirement plan administrators, Social Security, and any benefit agencies. Most large institutions have a bereavement team, which is faster than the general line.
Keep a written log of who you told, when, and what they asked for. In three weeks you will not remember, and you will be asked.
What can wait, and should
Closing accounts, selling anything, distributing possessions, cancelling most subscriptions, and answering anybody pressing about money.
Do not pay estate debts from your own funds and do not distribute anything before liabilities are known. Executors have been left personally exposed by paying a beneficiary early.
Then the administration
The named executor applies for authority to act. Where there is a funded trust, the successor trustee already has authority over trust assets and can move sooner.
From there it is an accounting exercise: what was owned, what was owed, what is due, and finally distribution. Months rather than weeks is normal.
If you are reading this in advance
Then make this fortnight boring for whoever will be in it. A signed will they can find, an executor who knows, a list of accounts and policies, and copies with the people who will need them.
That is most of what a plan is actually for.
Questions people also ask
How many death certificates do I need?
Around ten certified copies is the usual guidance. Each bank, insurer, pension administrator and registry typically wants one, and ordering extra later takes longer.
What if we cannot find the will?
Check with the attorney who drafted it, the county court if it was deposited, any safe deposit box, and any online vault. If no will is found, the estate is administered under your state’s intestacy rules.
Who pays for the funeral?
Usually the estate, and funeral expenses commonly have priority among claims. Where a family member pays first, they can generally seek reimbursement from the estate, so keep receipts.
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